Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
