dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
