sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
