Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
im about as happy as oj after his trial
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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