what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
