she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
