i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
