im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
