yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
