I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Randomize
