Is it normal to miss your booty call?
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
