Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize