Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Randomize
