ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
