Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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