It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
