What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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