Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I just forgot I was standing up.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
