I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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