lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
