I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
