at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
