You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
