thus making me awesome and them whores
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
