sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
