I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
