Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
