her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
