She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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