So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
no you cant smoke seaweed
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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