I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
