I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
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