Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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