So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
