I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
