I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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