if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
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