loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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