I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
is wine microwaveable?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
