dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
