btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
