mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
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