Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
