his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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