Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
fuck your aforementioned shoe
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
