my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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