We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
