omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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