butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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