If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize