He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
