yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
