how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
