Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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