I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
