Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
