My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
so much tequila, so little girl.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
