Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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