Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
